Wednesday, 22 January 2014

From Script to Screen - OGR 1

Ogr 1 by Ariesyme


  1. OGR 24/01/2014

    Hey Rhianna,

    Really like what you've done with the butterfly hunter idea - the idea of your character having to find her 'steed' as part of the culture. I do think your story is a bit fragmented, in so much as the 'warehouse' and the 'foodblender' just seem a bit grafted on, as opposed to being an integrated part of your world. I'm going to suggest you more truly embrace the fantasy element of your world and push it a bit further:

    Okay, so the idea of your character exceeding the limits of her safety zone because she's determined to bond with this most glorious butterfly is great; but what happens if there is, in fact, another 'butterfly hunter' - a villain, who wants to trap Trixiebell and her kind too. Maybe Trixiebell and the butterfly are indeed captured by this 'hunter of the small people', who stores the fairyfolk in 'The Warehouse' - which is a prison-like storage facility filled with captured fairies. Worse, the reason why the huntern 'hunts' is because he/she/it feeds on the life-force of Trixiebell and her kind, and does so by emptying the jars into 'The Food Blender' - which is a terrifying-looking machine that turns fairies into smoothies! So, not only does Trixiebell have to save herself - she also has to save her people; this gives your story much more purpose, and it's a classic narrative in terms of the 'hero'. In terms of setting up all this backstory, it's nice and easy: you have Trixiebell being told in ACT 1 all about the 'Butterfly ritual' - having to go out into the forest and hunt/bond with your first butterfly, but also being warned about the dangers of 'The Butterfly Hunter' who is out to capture the fairyfolk and eat them as food etc. This just integrates your story components much more so into the actual fabric of your world, as right now, the foodblender in particular feels a bit incongruous in terms of its usage.

    Anyway - something for you to think about! (And this way you get to design a villain too - which is always a juicy design job!)

    1. Heyy (:

      Thanks for the input, d(^.^d) I like the idea of the warehouse being a storage facility for captured butterflies, although I thought of food blender being used for something evil like that I wanted my story to be fairly light hearted and child-friendly so I tried to do something away from that. But I suppose I could look at villains like the Queen from Snow White, which is a children's tale and she wants to cut out her heart but obviously doesn't succeed and I don't have to show the "gruesome" act but subtly suggest it with fairies being taken away in a room somewhere or something that no one ever sees? It is something to think about (:

    2. *captured butterflies and fairies :P

    3. Yes - that's right - the 'food blender' can be very much in the mode of the 'witch' in Hansel and Gretel - a properly scary prospect - but one that is handled in an 'off-screen' way. It certainly doesn't have to be gruesome - for example; the 'food blender' doesn't have to have blades - it could simply be some kind of machine that processes one thing into another thing - so 'fairies into food' - it's doesn't have to be an 18 Certificate 'SAW' like device :)